Milk Carton Removal
The prodigal football junkie returns from his hockey-induced exile
Hello Football Junkies,
I know…it's been a hot minute since you've heard from me. I had been spotted at various hockey rinks, a Charger's game, in Chicago, Albuquerque, Denver, Phoenix, Boise, Sacramento, Irvine, Las Vegas, and Universal Orlando. It's been a busy year off that saw my youngest son's team win the Utah State High School Hockey crown and another graduate and move into the dorms at Utah State to start his engineering program. This is a good balance since Matthew called Boise State home and having a Bronco in Aggie country involves a lot of explaining. I still have a lot going on this upcoming year with another full slate of hockey with my youngest, but for the time being, I'll be poking my head out of the basement to get myself off the NFL milk carton, remove my picture from the back, and no longer count myself as a missing person's statistic to the JT Eliminator pool.
I did not watch much football last year. Didn't play fantasy. I did, however, play the JT Eliminator and was done by week #3. Not long enough to enjoy all the great things Braden and Matthew have done with automating the site. Nothing is without growing pains, but what a phenomenal job getting that site up and running and getting that first season under their belt. I know people liked being able to pick Thursday games, just something I was unable to do when things were under time constraints and spreadsheets. I know the boys have some new things this year as well that include a new universal payment system with Stripe and a coin-based system to determine the pool's value. I don't know what this all means, I'm old and still have a checkbook, but I know the information is all coming out soon. Also, I'm told that we can keep the madness going all year with pools for every major sport coming next. The WNBA pool will determine who the true degenerates are and the winner has to donate the winnings to the league so their subsidy from the NBA can go down to $49,997,500 and we can maybe get Caitlin Clark out of coach.
"Here's a thought; the Chiefs can't win a game that is officiated properly. As you can see, a year off has done nothing to squash this little ball of hate inside me known as the Kansas City Chiefs."
I did have a traditional Big Game Party. Here's a thought; the Chiefs can't win a game that is officiated properly. As you can see, a year off has done nothing to squash this little ball of hate inside me known as the Kansas City Chiefs. Oddly, I didn't hear from my nephew Josh at all that day. I mean, I thought he would have called when the Chiefs were down by 34. My 92-year old mom, bless her heart, just moved to the Kansas City area this offseason, so she's real close to Josh. She mentioned to me that she likes the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes…that was until I convinced her that the Chiefs were Satan's team and that Satan's mistress sits in the club level with Travis Kelce's mom. Have fun with that one Josh, Go Bolts!
How loaded is the NFL this upcoming season? Buffalo, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Detroit, Minnesota, San Francisco, Seattle, Los Angeles Rams…and Chargers. I think legitimate arguments can be made for these teams to win it all. And, if I've left your team off and would like to make an argument, by all means let me know. This is the time of year when hope springs eternal and all teams are tied for first place until September 4th when the Cowboys go 0-1. We've kind of forgotten about Cincinnati and San Francisco because of the injury issues, but this season should be an awesome one and tougher to call in JT Eliminator than any season prior. A good strategy has always been to find a team to play against, but who's that team? According to Yahoo Sports, there is only one team at an over/under of 4.5 wins; Cleveland. There are only four teams at an over/under of 5.5 wins; New Orleans, New York Giants, New York Jets, and Tennessee. Would you feel good about taking the under on any of those? Not me. I just think we will be looking at record parity in the NFL and a fight to the finish for those last playoff spots.
So, taking the year off does not come without its complications. My wife has now become acclimated to not seeing or hearing the familiar sounds of the NFL via ESPN, Fox, or CBS, having her husband emotionally available on Sunday, and not having him checking his watch for scores during church. If I'm going to bring the NFL back into the house, I'll have to get creative. I don't think my plight is specific to me and I want to help other men sell this upcoming NFL season to their significant others like a hot new Netflix show. Here's my story to my wife:
Babe, I have this great show we can watch. It's about a surfer boy from San Clemente, who goes off to college at USC, and after spending 3 years at Southern Cal he is wooed off to New York, where he was the first-round pick of a Jersey girl with high expectations of him. But the big apple can be hard and when his girl was unable to provide any front-line protections, he ended up battered and wounded where his self confidence took a hit too. She ultimately lost faith in him and decided to move on. He then goes to North Carolina to slow things down from the hustle and bustle of New York to see if he can't make things happen down south. He finds himself fighting over this girl with many other suitors, and though he was the best performer, this fickle girl needed someone who could stay healthy. Dejected, he finds his way a little closer to home in a move to San Francisco. He thought the familiarity of the west coast would bring him the Zen he needed, but realizes that most of the town was uninterested and he was nothing more than a late-night call. Hopeless, but not defeated, he took to the lakes of Minnesota content to be just a booty call. Here he finds a girl who is intent on a rebuild with a much younger boy, and when that boy is injured in an on-field collision, the girl gives him a chance to be the star of her heart. Regaining his confidence, he has his first real shot at love and the couple does great things together. More than anyone expected. But like prior disappointments, the younger boy recovers and the girl says she has to give this a shot or she'll never know what could have been. Sam is despondent. He'd done everything right. Alone, drinking a whiskey in Tom's Watch Bar, she walks in. A rich girl from the Pacific Northwest…
Shows an 18-week season with one off week. Mostly on Sunday afternoons, with the occasional Thursday or Monday episode. Each episode is about 3 hours long and if you miss one, I can fill you in.
I think I just talked myself into watching the Seahawks. I've always been on the Darnold bandwagon and knew he was better than anyone gave him credit for. Seattle's over/under for wins is at 8.5. Not shabby and I'd be inclined to take the over. Sam's just gonna have to stay healthy for that "girl" or else she's going to run with Drew Lock.
I don't know if I'll be around every week this year, but I'll give it a go to bring you a NFL update and my very biased view of the league. I know I'm ready to give it another go in the Jim Thomas Football Junkie Extravaganza Eliminator Pool. You are all the best and I've missed my correspondence with many of you.
Best of luck to everyone,
Eric